How far would you go to get out of trouble? Not with the law or even at work, but trouble with the lady. Would you lie? Convince others to fib as well? Would you plan out your evening in advance, just so you can make these lies work? In a perfect world, of course, the lying wouldn’t be necessary. But in a world where men like to drink in bars and women aren’t always receptive to that idea (As the ad states, “Girlfriends hate it when men go to bars to drink beer with friends”), one company has taken it upon themselves to make lying easier for men.

Enter the Andes Beer Teletransporter. Currently only available in Mendoza, Argentina, this device allows men to create virtually any environment … in a bar. Need it to sound like you’re on a camping trip? At a child’s birthday party? In a gym? No problem; the Teletransporter has you covered. Each Teletransporter-equipped bar even has a sticker on the door, so men can be sure they’re covered before heading inside.

How it Works

A completely soundproof vessel, the Teletransporter allows men (although who’s to say a woman can’t use the same tricks), to enter this phone booth-like device and choose an alternative sound. Block out the music, the bass, and the yelling, and create an ultra convincing lie. Besides, who’s going to argue that you’re not getting treated for food poisoning when there’s heart monitors and intercom sounds to be heard? Unlike the teller of this whopper, most probably won’t even conceive the tale to be false.

My only hope to these men is that the night at the bar be worth it. After all, hell hath no fury…

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